SAN DIEGO—The new ultra-efficient complex is open to schoolchildren on field trips, family members of convicted felons, and state-appointed defense lawyers.

Vatican chief astronomer Rev. Jose Gabriel Funes stated that belief in extraterrestrial life is not contradictory with church doctrine because aliens...

NEW YORK—Early reports indicate that yes—yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—exactly what Showtime At The Apollo host Capone...

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

MILWAUKEE—A Piggly Wiggly-sponsored scouting report shown during an at-bat by Brewers shortstop J.J. Hardy Sunday indicated that his major...

NEW YORK—The 2008 Stackley Cup Playoffs, a set of odd-number-of-games series that will determine the champion of the National Huckie League, are well underway, NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman confirmed Monday. At press time,...

NBC officially announced that Jimmy Fallon will replace Conan O'Brien as host of Late Night in 2009. What do you think?

RUFFS DALE, PA—According to John Swink's friends, family, coworkers, and casual acquaintances, as well as a growing number of local waiters and...

Priceless video footage surfaced this week of Bill O'Reilly flipping out during his "Inside Edition" days and throwing an obscenity-laced tantrum. Watch as O'Reilly goes nuts, plus check out a hilarious...

As I get older and reflect on my life, my mind always drifts back to the time I defended handyman Tom Robinson against those trumped-up, racially...

Don't get me wrong: It's great being on the show. Love Jay, love the audience, really. And this Josh…Hartnett, is it? He seems like a good...

WASHINGTON—"Though we're working to fix things, the situation has become OH FOR CHRIST'S SAKE—I just spilled coffee on myself," said the institute's chairman.

CHARLESTON, WV—Hillary Clinton once again attacked Barack Obama on the issue of experience Tuesday, this time questioning the Illinois...

Former Law & Order star Dennis Farina was arrested and charged with a felony after he took a loaded, unregistered handgun to an airport....

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

First daughter Jenna Bush was married to Henry Chase Hager on her father's ranch in Crawford, TX. What do you think?

Onion Radio News - with Doyle Redland

ACHILLE, OK—Despite only recently gaining the ability to form complete sentences, 2-year-old Trevor Cornett was able to present a clearheaded...

It wasn't too long ago that Hillary Clinton was singing the praises of Saturday Night Live for the way it was portraying the 2008 campaign. Between invoking SNL to score...