The Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources has announced it is considering additions to its official list of invasive species, joining already listed flora and fauna such as the zebra mussel, which has been ravaging Lake Michigan's ecosystem.
I hereby nominate for the DNR's strongest consideration that horrendously destructive species whose formal scientific name is Kochtopus Plutarcha.
Kochtopus is a hugely ravenous, cold-blooded creature native to Kansas. The creature tends to remain close throughout its life to its litter mates, leaving slime trails wherever it journeys. Thanks to modern human technology, the organism has in recent decades spread widely across the US, displacing numerous competitors, especially Progressis Democraticus, a far more benign species that has the advantage of a larger brain and better long-range vision but less powerful mandibles and manipulators.
Thoughtout its life Kochtopus appears vaguely mammaliam in some respects but exhibits some characteristics most commonly of the genus that includes slime molds. It derives much of its sustenance from an uncanny ability to digest complex hydrocarbons including bitumen and petroleum. Its bodily wastes, heavy in pollutants, foul land, sea and air but also exude a hynotic odor that often attracts unwitting Homo Sapiens.