I spent the majority of my last two weeks canvassing outside of my county in two of the most historical elections in Wisconsin's history. Many of you reading this are probably saying something like, "Well he should be working for a cause." or "That Steve, he just likes to talk." or "It's about time he gets off his ass and does something." I'm sure many of you may be saying something quite different as well. If a common Wisconsin media outlet were to have covered me here's likely what the "story" would say:
Headline: Dem Canvasser Makes Little if any Impact in Recall Races
By: Don Nothing - EAU CLAIRE -- During the recent recall elections in Wisconsin, many areas in the state saw unprecidented numbers of volunteers working in the elections to unseat nine (six Republicans, three Democrats) Wisconsin State Senators. We followed one canvasser, Steve Wagener, during the last two weeks to see what impact he was bringing to the races. Wagener (56) has been a life long resident of the Chippewa Valley. In the last six weeks Steve has spent over 60 hours, calling and canvassing differnt parts of Dunn, LaCrosse and Lincoln counties.
Starting with the recall election of Sen. Dave Hansen (D-Green Bay) through Tuesday's recalls of Sen. Jim Holperin (D - Conover) and Sen. Robert Wirch, (D-Pleasant Prairie) the Dems were only able to win five of nine races while the Repulicans confidently held on to four of the nine contested seats.
During Steve's canvassing, he knocked on hundreds of doors. He was observed talking with old women, grumpy men and even saw him shaking once when a large dog lunged at him through a flimsy screen door. Often in the heat and humidity of the last two weeks we would often see Wagener canvassing his hair uncombed. Once we saw him with his shirt tail hanging out and his fly (zipper) just barely reaching the waistband of his waist drooping blue jeans.
While Steve talked to many people, we found that most people he talked to were already sympathetic to the radical left agenda of recklessly taxing and spending. Wagener had an affinity for trailer parks. Often we would observe Steve knocking on every door in a trailer park instead of only approaching homes listed on documents he picked up from the Dems or a SUPER UNION THUG financed UBER-SUPER PAC named "We Are Wisconsin". Only once did we see Wagener take someone to vote.
Clearly this means that Steve Wagener did not make a difference. Perhaps Wagener could find better things to do with his time like, going around the city picking up many of the Bingo and Poker 5"x7" advertising flyers that fell out of the printed publications this last week.
After first writing this piece and putting it as a note on Facebook, I wasn't quite certain people were understanding the intent of writing due to its satirical style. For those of you whether you be many or few, I offer the following:
One could likely insert any of today's media outlets. Try it once. Sooner or later each of you will find the proper Corporate Pronoun to place in that sophomoric expression.
If I have one regret in what I wrote this morning is that I hadn't clarified this in my original piece. After working in three different recall elections (Moore, Schilling, Holperin) and coming up with a higher percentage 66% of my candidates winning (Dems 55% Repugs 44%), I am not only enthused with my results but I also know that this "war and the workers", to use my political foe's words; has only begun. Just think, next time by simply selecting one different candidate out of three, I'll be batting 1000.
Peace to all and my apologies to the Eau Claire Leader-Telegram. Perhaps I should have had my coffee before I walked out to get the paper - the day after the last congressional rekawl=walker election. Please start pencilling in your calendars as to when you can help recall our current Governor REKAWL Walker.
Go ahead try it . Replace it with CNN, MSNBC, FOX, Chronicle, Herald, County News, WAXX, NPR....