Well, maybe this Wisconsin Commerce Department travel scandal starring Secretary Jack Fischer isn't a pulp fiction story about sex, just incompetence.

"Jack Fischer's participation of the mission was not representative or positive for Wisconsin business," Frigo wrote in the evaluation, released to the Journal Sentinel under the state's open records law. "On several occasions during the trip I was embarrassed that he was our leader. His rambling speech during the embassy reception caused the premature end to the party as most of us were just warming up to the prospects."

The Journal-Sentinel breaks a daddy-long legs of a story that’s sure to crawl up your summertime reading list.

Wisconsin Department of Commerce Secretary Jack Fischer and his executive liaison (read "administrative assistant"), Deborah Godt, traveled to three international locations in less than three months this spring, billing Wisconsin taxpayers more than $21,000.

$555 per night hotel rooms.

$520 for dry cleaning.

$80 dinners.

Yes, Europe is expensive. And the state budget is a mess. And there are travel restrictions in effect for state employees. And no other commerce secretary has traveled internationally without the governor.

When the other secretaries have traveled overseas, they brought along staff with international trade experience … not assistants.

The summer pulp fiction reader in me is looking forward to the next chapter.

Beware fans of Transformers - the movie, the toys, the t-shirts.

Especially those of you who may wear Transformer t-shirts and be in the computer industry on a business trip! You risk being identified as a terrorist and denied flight travel.

'"Then he explains that since Megatron is holding a gun, I'm not allowed to fly,' he said.

Meanwhile ... the airline industry is projected to lose more than $6 billion this year. Who knew there were that many traveling Transformer fans?! <snark>